SHOWS BEST FORGOTTEN: "TIMES SQUARE STATION" -- AN ORAL HISTORY

Copycat Sitcom: 1995-1996

In the spring of 1995, every television network was chasing the next FRIENDS.  Having premiered the previous fall, FRIENDS became an unstoppable hit with young viewers, featuring a Gen-X cast that became famous and wealthy.  NBC made millions as the series augmented its growing Thursday night line-up. Similarly, stand-up comedians were in high demand as Jerry Seinfeld anchored Thursday nights and newer shows starring Ellen DeGeneres and Paul Reiser added to the networks’ arsenal.

Nightclub comics dreamed of getting the high-paying sitcom gig.  Brad Pincer was a stand-up comedian who survived the rise and fall of the omnipresent comedy clubs of the 80s and 90s.  Not particularly original, Pincer did have bursts of energetic enthusiasm and was fast on his feet.  In his own mind, he was in the vein of Robin Williams.  To network casting directors, he was just like a million other wannabes.  Yet, his act had the point-of-view of a struggling New Yorker, which did not go unnoticed by hungry development executives.

ELI SCHRODER, Talent Manager, 1988-1996: 

I signed him back in 1988 after seeing him at The Gag.  He was doing a lot of fart jokes back then.

BRAD PINCER, Alleged Comedian: 

Those were not jokes.  I simply couldn't restrain myself after a heavy meal.

ELI SCHRODER:

He was difficult to locate.  He wasn’t getting booked regularly.  When he was on the road, he could just disappear into a strange city.  We had no cell phones back then. 

BRAD PINCER:

I moved from New York to L.A. in the early 90s.  I was so broke. One time, I walked up to a 7-11 and a homeless guy said, “next time, bring your car and I’ll do your windows.”  I said, “what car?”   

I wound up in the valley.  Agents said they could never find me.     

ALEXA BENTON, Director, Comedy Development, Versatile Studios, 1989-1990:

God, he made me... laugh.  Well, sometimes.

BRAD PINCER:

Tough times living in a studio apartment, sleeping on a used couch.  Once I had a couple bucks in my pocket doing stand-up, I wanted to explore when I was on the road.  I had no girlfriend, no kids, just Eli.

ELI SCHRODER:

Back in ’93, he did a spot in Anaheim.  I’ll never forget it.  I drove down a few hours early, made a wrong turn off Katella, then got lost in the crowds coming out of Disneyland.  Oh, well, he finished strong.

PHIL UNBRET, Advertising Executive (1969-1998):

Had he not been embroiled in pilot season, he could have been the next Jim Carrey but for the B-movie crowd.

MICKEY VIAROMA, TV Critic, TUNE-IN WEEKLY (1988-2002):

There was no Jim Carrey for the B-movie crowd.  That's why these guys are one-of-a-kinds.

While Brad Pincer was paying his dues, one of the many hopeful writers across town in Los Angeles was trying to get his break.  After graduating up through the ranks of network development in two years, 27-year-old Ron Niberd was like most of Hollywood’s dreamers hoping to sell one of his own scripts.  Facing another fall season with no hits, Niberd began shopping his feature script about his days as a commuter in New York City.

ELI SCHRODER:

It was terrible.  Not a laugh in it.  It was destined to get made.

RON NIBERD:

There was a lot about sweaty shirts and old men grabbing young women.  Real world stuff.

ADRIAN JETTSON, VP, Development, Rhombus Pictures:

I read it as a favor.  I no longer do favors.

RON NIBERD:

I sold it in a week.

ELI SCHRODER:

           Like I said, Brad would disappear for days at a time.  When I finally reached him to tell him he got a deal with a studio, Brad was at a pay phone.

BRAD PINCER:

           I called in from a phone next to a Jack-in-the-Box bathroom.  I told Eli to talk fast before I ran out of quarters.

As often is the case in television, similar ideas get developed during the same pilot season.  Do great minds think alike?  Is there even thought involved while copying a hit sitcom?

BETSY SPRAY, Publicist, Versatile Studios:

I had an uncle who worked for the Transit Authority.  He loved movies, so I brought him out to L.A. for a vacation.  He ran into Ron at the commissary and they hit it off.

FRANK SPRAY, Uncle with Popcorn:

Ron cracked me up.  He had a million showbiz stories.  His girlfriend at the time was the daughter on “Family of Ten.”

RON NIBERD:

Frank was a very nice old guy…  but he had no experience in television.  And it turned out, he wasn’t very nice.

FRANK SPRAY:

           The studio attached me to Ron’s script!  I got a producer credit.

ELI SCHRODER: 

Someone got the idea to put the two projects together.  Nobody wanted two New York rip-offs of “Friends.”   Networks were looking at other cities.

There were the inevitable arguments about the credits.  In this case, Pincer and Spray didn’t wait until the pilot was shot before they physically came to blows.  New producer Ron Niberd was also caught up in the chaos.

FRANK SPRAY:

             Jackass thought it would be called “The Brad Pincer Show.”  No one knew who he was!

ELI SCHRODER:

           That wasn’t the unusual part.  Drew Carey had his name in the title before he was known.  These guys disagreed about everything in the process.

BRAD PINCER:

           First, they throw this unfunny producer at me.  Then, I had to put up with someone’s grandpa.

RON NIBERD:

             You would have thought Frank had worked in television for years.  He took credit for everything.

FRANK SPRAY:

             The other jackass thought he invented the subway.  One night, we were writing until four in the morning.  The copy machine had broken down, Jackass pissed me off, so I threw containers of toner at him.

RON NIBERD:

             I was supposed to attend a network meeting the next morning.  He got that black toner powder all over me and chipped my tooth!

FRANK SPRAY:

             Jackass called the cops.

ALEXA BENTON:

             Frank would show up after a night of writing and would deliver the new draft to my office.  He wasn’t wearing pants.  And, he didn’t realize that the production assistant had already delivered the draft an hour earlier.

FRANK SPRAY:

           I thought that kid just fetched coffee.  Who let him touch the scripts?

RON NIBERD:

After arbitration, it was determined the credits would say "Based on the comedy of Brad Pincer and the head of the MTA."  I was shut out.

ALEXA BENTON:

         Once the pilot was picked up, we dropped Frank.  He had sexually harassed six women, assaulted his writing partner and was escorted off the lot three times.  But then again, he was new in the business.  If he had experience, he could’ve gotten away with a lot more for years to come.

ELI SCHRODER:

             When the pilot was picked up to series, Frank got a six-figure deal from Mugg Studios.

ALEXA BENTON:

             Frank is a fucking degenerate.

FRANK SPRAY:

             I am a respected writer and producer with numerous awards.

RON NIBERD:

             The network announced their schedule on a Wednesday.  “Times Square Station” was picked up late Tuesday night.  They didn’t fly the cast to New York to meet with the affiliates.

ALEXA BENTON:

             They felt the less people knew about the show, the better.  Just let them think it was just like “Friends.”

MICKEY VIAROMA, TV Critic, “I Watch TV” Blog (2006-Present):

             This show was nothing like “Friends!”

BRAD PINCER, “Brad Penza”:

             To make things worse, the publicity materials had my name with Frank’s picture!  He was 54-years-old!  I don’t even know why they had a picture of him.  He wasn’t in the cast!  They had even named me “Brad” in the show so I wouldn’t be confused.  They didn’t put the “Brad” picture with “Brad.”

ELI SCHRODER:

             I’m just glad they got picked up for the fall.

FRANK SPRAY:

             The hell with them.  Who needs their bullshit subway comedy?  I sold my next script the following year, “My Uncle Is A Bus.”

During that summer of 1995, Niberd had a crash course in network television.  In addition to the development executives and casting team at The Net that guided the show to series, the brains behind “Times Square Station” now also reported to the current programming department.   Likewise, marketing executives had big concerns that season and they, too, had input on the series’ future.  Censors, also known as Standards & Practices, would go over the scripts looking for questionable content.

CHRIS HEARDY, Producer (1995-1998):

Scheduling and research were the worst.  We had four time-slots in one year.  I was coming off a sitcom that ran eight years on the same night.  That’s how a show becomes a hit.  It helped “Friends” that it was always on Thursdays.

RON NIBERD:

It was like they were trying to kill us.  “Viewer, I dare you to find this show!  Just try and set your vcr!”

CHRIS HEARDY:

One week, it was Wednesdays at 8:30.  You would set your vcr and it recorded a reality special, “When Guidance Counselors Attack.”

RON NIBERD:

He recorded the show?

CHRIS HEARDY:

I didn’t watch the show live.  “Beverly Hills 90210” was on at the same time.  Be reasonable.

BEN CONWAY, Director, Scheduling (1984-2014):

It was losing too much audience on Wednesdays, so we had to give it a shot somewhere else to see if the show was still viable.  When you move a show, even if it’s struggling, you hope it has gotten enough awareness to work surrounded by better-performing shows.  Sometimes, it’s the time, not the show.

DOOLEY ROBERTS, Director, Practices & Standards (1972-2000):

             Brad was used to working in the clubs.  He had a hard time understanding that you couldn’t use off-color language in a network comedy.   Besides, the show was on at 8:30 at night!  That’s basically what I remember.  I’ve worked on a lot of short-lived shows.  I barely remember “Times Station Square.”

GENE REDD, Supervising Producer (1995-1996):

             Ron learned quickly that if you loaded your script full of “f-bombs” and ridiculous language they would never allow, the censors would either miss or give in on other objectionable material in the script.  They couldn’t catch everything.

DOOLEY ROBERTS:

             Was this the show where the guy sang a song, “Where’s My Fucking Train?”  What is wrong with people?

RON NIBERD:

             They would catch all the “fucks” and not catch my train double-entendres.

ELI SCHRODER:

             I begged him to stop.  He could have been fired at any time.  Meanwhile, Frank got a 13-episode order for “My Uncle Is A Bus!”

JERRY VIRGO, VP, Current Programming (1991-2001):

             Y’know, I really don’t appreciate books that make television executives look like morons.  Most of us get into this business because we grew up loving television.  I don’t have a lot to say about “Times Square Station.”  Honestly, I’ve blocked a lot of it out.  Brad made no fans with the network with his behavior.  Constant crybaby.

Most critics stopped following the series shortly after the pilot.  Fortunately, for the production, online episode recaps were still rare in 1995, so the writers escaped most of the scrutiny.  But, they got an earful from the cast.

 GWENDOLYN THOMAS, Star, “Betsy” (1995-1996):

            I was cast as the female lead.  They were going to do the same old will-they or won’t- they dance that the other shows were doing.   I was constantly in the producers’ offices complaining about the plots.  It was never like this on “Beverly Hills Beverly.”

BRAD PINCER:

             Gwen was ridiculous.  She thought she was Shelley Long or Jennifer Aniston, but she could barely act.  I say this as a comedian who can barely act.  When the “Rachel” haircut became popular, she demanded a new haircut every episode.  Then, she was surprised when young women didn’t go to their hairdresser demanding “The Gwen.”  And her character wasn’t even called “Gwen!”

GWENDOLYN THOMAS:

             Brad wouldn’t wear a Halloween costume for the holiday episode.  They couldn’t get him out of his trailer.

BRAD PINCER:

             There was a stupid story about the commuters giving out candy on Halloween.  To who?  How many kids are on a commuter train during rush hour?  My character accidentally gives a kid tokens instead of candy coins.

When the show went into reruns on local stations – that had very low budgets—they never reran that episode. 

GWENDOLYN THOMAS:

             The kid accidentally eats the tokens.  That’s one of the few things people remember, but they don’t remember from what show.

BRAD PINCER:

They brought the kids to the ER and they were shitting tokens.  You may remember the catch phrase "We thought it was candy!"  For years, it was the most memorable thing of the series.

Network interference continued.  Even though they stopped spending money on focus groups, the suits demanded that stronger episodes would air sooner.  Thus, the Christmas episode of “Times Square Station” aired in October.

IRVING KUPPS, SVP, Research (1972-2007): 

           You put the strongest episodes first, otherwise the viewers might not come back.

BRENDA ROSE, Actress, “Aunt Gertie”:

           Was that the show with the train?  I can’t believe I did that show.

RON NIBERD:

           Brenda had starred for eleven seasons as the mother in “The Outt House.”  America loved her.  We thought she would be great as the aunt in the Christmas episode.

BRAD PINCER:

           I had no idea Mama Outt smelled like the back of a hardware store.

BRENDA ROSE:

           Did I get paid for that one?

RON NIBERD:

           She made it through the table read on Monday but kept forgetting her lines at the run-through on Wednesday.  Now, that’s understandable.  She hadn’t worked in a few years.  But the network didn’t think she would cut it in front of a live studio audience.

BRAD PINCER:

           So, they fired her on Thursday and replaced her with a younger actress who wore a grey-haired wig.

BRENDA ROSE:

           I don’t get why this guy’s aunt was commuting with him to work.

OLIVER FOAM, "Cousin Abraham" (1995):

           After the pilot, I was cast as Brad’s cousin.  You probably remember me from a bunch of shows.  I did two seasons on “Mediocre Months” and recurring for years on “Love and Death and Love and Hate.”  They initially wanted to show Brad’s home- life so Cousin Abraham lived in his building.  I would pop in and ask him about his day.  That kind of thing.  But I was dropped after 13 episodes. 

GWENDOLYN THOMAS:

           Oliver and I dated that season.  I used to watch him on “Love and Death and Love and Hate.” He was my first celebrity boyfriend.  After he was fired, things got tense, so my publicist let him know we broke up.

OLIVER FOAM:

           We broke up?

GWENDOLYN THOMAS:

           It got even more complicated because after they fired Ollie, they edited out his scenes from the summer reruns.   Granted, they only did three or four reruns.  The ratings were so low.

OLIVER FOAM:

           I’m surprised she even knows that.  I never watched the show.  I had moved on to a new pilot, “Seventies in the Seventies” as the houseboy.   With “Times Square,” they decided the time was better used showing Brad around the other commuters and on the train.  Also, he didn’t seem comfortable having storylines about him dating.

BRAD PINCER:

           It happens.  It was nothing personal.  Oliver is a great guy and it wasn’t my decision.  Network research showed the scenes in the apartment were dragging down the show so some Las Vegas tourists with a red button decided where the series was going by that point.

RON NIBERD:

Then, they moved us to Saturdays at 10:30.

BEN CONWAY:

We shifted the show in December to follow a Paula Poundstone variety show.  We felt that her fans would stick around for “Times Square Station.”  Two stand-ups back-to-back… but no one ever heard of Brad Pincer.

RON NIBERD:

A couple of years earlier, ABC cancelled Paula after one week on Saturday nights.  I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to try again on a smaller network.

JERRY VIRGO:

             NBC picked up “Law & Order” after CBS passed.  When NBC cancelled “JAG” after one year, CBS picked it up.  Its “NCIS” spin-offs are still running!   This happens all the time.  You never know.

TED EVERS, Sitcom Fan/Blogger:

I taped a lot of shows back then.  There were no dvr machines, of course.  I would even tape the whole Saturday line-up, but I didn’t watch the shows on later in the night.  I just didn’t know how to set the timer so at 8:00, I would hit record and let it run while I went out drinking.

CHRIS HEARDY, Producer:

           After all my years on “Officer Mills,” I knew we had to ground the writing.  An audience needs to relate to the characters.  This was a show about commuters.  There’s no reason why we couldn’t craft a script with believable characters in a relatable situation.  Ron was anxious to do something experimental.

BRAD PINCER:

           He actually said, “craft a script?”

RON NIBERD:

            “M*A*S*H” had done a story from the point-of-view of a wounded soldier.  So, I get this script with the point-of-view of a guy waiting for a train.  Total crap.

JEREMY STILLS, Staff Writer (1995):

I wanted to do something different.  It got the lowest rating in the network’s history.

RON NIBERD:

There is very little evidence that we even aired on Saturdays.  It only lasted a few weeks and back then, the tv listings people wouldn’t describe your episode if they had the wrong information three times in a row.  They wouldn’t print a listing at all.

JERRY VIRGO:

           There’s a good chance in those days that our affiliates didn’t even air the show at 10:30. They probably had “Benson” reruns that did better so they aired other things for which they paid a lot in syndication.

BEN CONWAY:

You know, with “Times Square Station,” the less you knew about an episode, the better.  When the tv magazines wouldn’t run the descriptions, it was a win for us.  The staff even wrote an episode that took place on the weekend.  They didn’t even take the train that episode.

KRISTI CHUTE, Director, Marketing (1994-1996):

             We would take out ads for a lot of the shows.  In those days, people would look at listings in the newspaper or TV Guide.   On-screen guides weren’t as vital then.  We didn’t do many ads for that train show, but when we did, we did generic pictures of New York twentysomethings.  Maybe we could trick viewers into watching.

BEN CONWAY, Director, Scheduling (1984-2014):

So, we moved the show to Fridays at 9:30.

TED EVERS:

I used to record the TGIF line-up on Fridays.  Then I would go out drinking.  I don’t know what else was on then.

CHRIS HEARDY:

The Net didn’t even air comedies on Friday nights.  They haven’t run one there since.  Urkel and those ABC comedies were destroying the competition.  They put “Times Square Station” after two mystery shows, “Death Becomes Herb” and “The Tom Arnold Mysteries.”

KRISTIN CHUTE:

           It was a natural fit to market ads that would be placed in subway trains.  But, we had a tight budget and couldn’t advertise every time they moved the show.  Often, we didn’t have enough time to meet an advertising deadline.

BRAD PINCER:

           To this day, I’m convinced the show’s biggest fans didn’t watch the show.  They just remember the posters on the subway trains.

JEREMY STILLS:

“Death Becomes Herb!”  I totally forgot about that show.  You should do an oral history about that one.  Herb Edelman from “Golden Girls” solving crimes.

BEN CONWAY:

It wasn’t funny when Edelman died later that year.

KRISTIN CHUTE:

           At the last minute, we were able to revise our Friday Night ads for the subway trains and bus stops.  We added a sticker that said “Stay Tuned for Times Square Station” with no picture of Brad.  Some posters get ripped off the walls by collectors.  These remained well into the summer, long after the show left Friday nights.

RON NIBERD:

           By that point, Brad’s main attraction was his absence.  It was just as well that his picture wasn’t on the poster.

JERRY VIRGO:

           I used to take the trains out of Grand Central.  Guys would grab a beer for the train, pull the Times Square posters off and put them on their laps to make a card table.  We spent a fortune in marketing and these commuters were playing poker on the posters.

JEREMY STILLS:

We were filming our final episodes when we got the Friday time slot.  There was an attempt to keep some of the crime-show audience.  We were told to plan a stunt episode.

BEN CONWAY:

Any time you can promote an episode with some classic tv stars, you do it.

JEREMY STILLS:          

We got the cast of “Mission: Impossible” to reunite.  The Tom Cruise movie was due out that summer.  They were not a happy bunch.

BEN CONWAY:

They didn’t like that a remake was being done without them, the way Adam West thought he should be in the Tim Burton Batman movie.  A few months later, it was reported that Greg Morris stormed out of a screening of the movie.  When the cast was on our set, they weren’t even that happy.

JEREMY STILLS:

There was talking of getting some of the “21 Jump Street” cast reunited, without Depp, of course.  He was a huge movie star by ’96.  He’d never do television. The idea was turned down.  The network didn't think “Jump Street” belonged on a comedy.

RON NIBERD:

             Our season finale was a cross-over with another network show.  But, The Net moved us again.  We were on Sundays at 7:30, against “60 Minutes” with no lead-in.  And, we were no longer on the same night as the show we crossed over!

JASON RADBERRY, Star, “Jason’s Planet” (1995-1998):

             We were happy to cross over with another show.  They had put us on Saturdays mid-season so anything we could do to appease the network was okay with me.  I worked a week on that subway show.

STEVE CULLINS, Executive Producer, “Jason’s Planet” (1995-1998):

             I was writing a science-fiction comedy that took place in another galaxy.  Suddenly, they wanted an episode that took place during rush hour in Manhattan.

KRISTI CHUTE:

             The stories on that show were awful.  They thought they were doing social commentary.

GWENDOLYN THOMAS, Actress, “Betsy”:

They called it a wrap after episode 20 of “Times Square Station.”  I walked out the studio door and never looked back.

RON NIBERD:

             Nobody noticed she wasn’t there for the last two rehearsals.  We did 22 shows.  The network shut down production eventually.  After the table read for episode 22, we left.  The writers were committed to do a script for #22 contractually.  We threw together a draft over a weekend, basically changing the names from an old “WKRP” episode.  They submitted it to get paid but it was never produced.

CHRIS HEARDY:

           Ron went off to work in features.  I couldn’t name one movie he has produced.

Miracle Renewal: 1996-1997

The network cancelled TIMES SQUARE STATION following its first season on May 15, 1996.  After four time-slots in one season, the series was eventually replaced by a new comedy, THE CHARLES BRONSON SHOW, as networks resorted to star power.  While other networks brought back sitcom stars Tony Danza and Kirstie Alley for their fall schedules, Bronson was an unlikely comedy star given his "Death Wish" tough-guy persona.  But, a familiar face is often a selling point, so Bronson was thrust into weekly tapings before a studio audience as a father vying for a young woman already in love with his son.

LAUREL KENYON, Assistant, Comedy Development:

That spring, I was hired full-time at the network after temping for thirteen months.  They would have kept me temping forever to avoid paying medical insurance.  “The Charles Bronson Show” was the first pilot I worked on.

VIVIAN TOWAL, SVP, Comedy Development:

It was a stupid idea.  My assistant came up with it.

LAUREL KENYON:

After two episodes, they realized they couldn't continue using a studio audience.  

BURT OSH, Director, Current Programming (1988-2005):

It was a combination of no laughs, and they didn't want to keep paying senior groups to be in the audience.

VIVIAN TOWAL:

So, they would shoot without an audience and add a laugh track later.  Who would notice?  The ratings were terrible.

LAUREL KENYON:

Every Thursday morning, Vivian and the other executives would have their heads handed to them in the weekly meetings.

  

RANDALL MAY, Actor, "Charley":

I had five failed pilots at that point.  I would have done anything.  Who would have guessed this would be the show picked up for series?

BETTY CASTILLO, Actress, "Jennie":

Yeah, I played the girlfriend.  I've tried to keep it off my IMDB.  I had a mortgage to pay.

LAUREL KENYON:

           Charles Bronson scared me.

 VIC BURNS, VP, Business Affairs:

It was my idea to bring back “Times Square Station.”  But, we had one provision.  Change the cast.

 CHRIS HEARDY, Supervising Producer: 

The network wanted to add a kid to the cast.  We came up with an 11-year-old Wall Street banker.

BETTY CASTILLO:

The Net made a deal for thirteen episodes.  We were back in business.  Then, Brad married one of the extras from the second-season premiere.  They were divorced two years later.  The marriage lasted almost longer than the series.

BRAD PINCER:

What can I say?  I fell hard for Vanessa.  There are times in your life where you feel like everything is finally coming together and you can do no wrong.  I felt like I had hit the lottery.  I thought I met someone sweet and funny who liked me for me.  That didn’t last.

VANESSA BOLOTTO PINCER, The Little Missus:

I’d rather not talk about this.

BURT OSH:

Brad had her added to the cast.  Their characters got married.  That was cool, because a wedding episode always helps.  Then, she got pregnant in real life.  We had to hide the pregnancy.

TUCKER LANYARD, Associate Producer:

At first, we gave Vanessa big winter coats, bags of groceries to carry, that sort of thing.  But then, we saw the ratings for “Homicide” where they had a man trapped under the subway train so we decided to do that.  We got a two-parter out of that.

VANESSA BOLOTTO PINCER:

The sons-of-bitches put a fake train on top of me.

SUSAN DUNE, Co-Star, “Nancie” (1997):

If it was up to me, I would have backed that train over her in regular 15-minute intervals.  I went to Juilliard and this background mannequin gets an on-screen credit.

BRAD PINCER:

In part two, a hunky firefighter was prying her out with the jaws of life.  Then, he tripped and landed on her. She moved in with the actor a week later.

TUCKER LANYARD:

I don’t remember seeing the firefighter or Vanessa again after the two-parter.  What?  Oh, they moved in together… in real life!

LANCE PRINGLE, President, Entertainment, The Net:

I don't give a shit about your oral history.  I don’t even remember cancelling the show.  Was it really on my network?

BURT OSH, Director, Current Programming:

They tried to be edgy.  They wanted to do a show where one of the gang accidentally sees Brad naked.  I told them "but the show takes place on a train!"

LAUREL KENYON, Assistant, Comedy Development:

They did a "bottle show."  Y'know, where the story takes place just on one set.  They did a half hour at the DMV.  It was excruciating.

BURT OSH:

It made no sense.  None of the characters owned a car.

LAUREL KENYON: 

They tried to add elements of a procedural.  They tried everything.  They started doing stories "ripped from the headlines."

ELI SCHRODER:
           It was impossible to find a director for the new episodes.  There were something like fifty thousand sitcoms going at that time.  NBC got rid of its Monday Night Movie after many years and had 18 comedies on at one time back then. 

VIVIAN TOWAL:
          We had to court directors who hadn't worked in awhile.  The guy we hired was dragging an oxygen tank behind him.

IRVING FLOYD, Director, "This Week, That Week" (1974-1975):
          They make it sound like the executives knew what they were doing.  They knew shit.  Vivian Towal was screening directors who had done dramas.  Now, at this time, "Law & Order" had been on for about six years.  She was watching episodes to find a director.  She had never seen the show before.

LAUREL KENYON:
          After the first half, she came out to my desk and asked "where the fuck did the cops go?"

BURT OSH:

They were desperate.  They hired veteran sitcom star Buddy B to join the cast.  They thought if they named him Chandler and made him say wisecracks, it would lure the audience.

BUDDY B, Actor:

           I was 45 years old at the time.

JERRY VIRGO:

           We had to throw something up against “Seinfeld” on Thursdays.  It lasted three weeks before we had to cancel it again.

Movie Star: 1997

As the invisible walls came down and television stars began to do movies while starring in a series, Brad Pincer began getting offers.  His series at the time was at death’s door.  No one expected a renewal.

HIRAM SALMAN, Agent:

Brad hired me in early 1997 and tasked me with getting him a feature.

CHIP SASSER, Agency Assistant:

I thought they were kidding.  When Hiram told me that Brad Pincer wanted a movie, I figured he wanted me to go to Blockbuster for a rental.  Why would Brad Pincer be in a movie?  No one was watching him on television!

HIRAM SALMAN:

The selling point was that no one was watching him on television.  They had no pre-conceived notions about Brad.  It was like they would be discovering him in a movie.  A star was born.

CHIP SASSER:

We couldn’t get him any scripts for a comedy.  The audience didn’t know Brad, but comedy writers did.  Many of them either had worked the clubs or saw Brad’s stand-up.  They hated him.  So, we started getting scripts for dramas.

BRAD PINCER:

           They liked to put me in mafia movies and have the gangsters shoot me.

HIRAM SALMAN:

By April of 1997, I was in rehab for coke.  I don’t know what happened to the guy.

CHIP SASSER:

I got stuck repping Brad.

BRAD PINCER:

One day, this Chip is getting me coffee and setting me up with hookers.  The next day, my career is in his hands.  And, he’s still getting me hookers, of course.

CHIP SASSER:

You can’t believe everything you see in Entertainment Now magazine.  I cancelled my subscription to that rag ten years ago and I’m still getting issues in the mail.  Who the hell wants print magazines in the mail?

BRAD PINCER:

All I know is that my two feature films went nowhere.  The next thing I know, the guy who played a repairman in one episode is up for “Saving Private Ryan.”

CHRIS HEARDY:

I didn’t remember that Vince did the show.  He didn’t get “Private Ryan” but the next summer, when I went to see “Manhattan’s Hero,” you could tell he would become a huge star.  It said so in the movie poster.

VINCE COLLA, Huge Star:

             Yeah, I did an episode of “Times Square.”  I did a lot of episodic in those days.  I did a two-parter as the drunk gym teacher in “Cy of Relief”, then did a game-show pilot as host of “Who Paid for This?”

BRAD PINCER:

           My movies?  Well, there was “BiggerFoot” and “Touched by a Meteor.”

EDDIE PRINGLE, Executive Assistant to Brad Pincer (1996-2018):
           Brad was a nightmare back then.  I was his fourth assistant in three months.  One guy was deep over his head.  Brad basically hired someone who lived in his apartment building with no experience as an assistant.  One day, the guy says he is going to the green room and instead, he got on a flight to Chicago.

Saved By Syndication: 1998-1999

Situation comedies had become almost exclusively about young white professionals in the mid-1990s.   The few shows about African-Americans had vanished from the major networks and even the newer networks like The WB and UPN were beginning to find success with even younger, white relationship dramas and sci-fi shows.  In the last days of first-run scripted programming, syndicators looked to the audience not being served.

HOWARD DUNE, VP, Business Affairs, Multiverse Studios:

Lance Pringle wouldn't bring the show back to the network, but we acquired a majority percentage of ownership.  I made a deal with Stellar to revive the series for first-run.  But, again with an almost entirely different cast for less money. Well, I mean, it still was a great opportunity for actors.

JACKIE SMOOTH, Actor, “Elliott” (1998-1999):

When my manager called, I had no idea what “Times Square Station” was.  I had my own show in the 1980s for four seasons.  You remember "Hallelujah" where I played the altar boy?  

BRAD PINCER:

This is embarrassing to bring up, but hell, I didn't write this shitty show.  They brought in all new characters and never explained where the others went.   We never brought them up again.  But, that's not the embarrassing part. They changed the cast, but never thought there could be black people in Manhattan.  They moved my character to Harlem.  

JACKIE SMOOTH:

And they still called it “Times Square Station” even though we located miles away.

HOWARD DUNE:

           My favorite episode was the holiday episode, “Snowtime at the Apollo.”

JULES LIANN, Director, Publicity, Multiverse Studios:

The first season back in ’95 got awful reviews.  So, we weren't surprised when the press disliked the show.  One of the entertainment magazines does a column of weekly television highlights.  For the “Times Square” premiere, the synopsis was: "Why Bother?"   It was brutal.

CHRIS HEARDY, Executive Producer:

We got listings, at least. I remember the blurb in newspapers that read “In the season premiere, Brad gets a new job in Harlem.”  The series was promoted as “Times Square Station Now!!”

ELI SCHRODER, Agent Still Alive: 

There were more fist fights during rehearsals.  And that was just the actresses.

BRAD PINCER:

I was fed up.  I once threw a chair at the director.  If you watch the episode about the Sadie Hawkins’ Dance, you can see the chair in the corner of the train.  They forgot to remove it from the shot.

CHRIS HEARDY:

Yeah, we had a dance on the train.  It’s not like we could build many sets.

HELL’EN BENSON, Actress, “Susan”:

They were always tryin’ to save a buck.  There was no money for big name guest stars.  One time, I got to work and there was Harold, the guy from the SubShop sandwich commercials.

HOWARD DUNE:

SubShop integrated into a subway sitcom was perfect.  They became our leading advertiser as long as we put the dork from their commercials in a few episodes.

JACKIE SMOOTH:

He was a nice guy and all.  Harold was always hanging around the union guys.

BRAD PINCER:

I remember Harold.  Good dude.  Fascinated with the cameras and the video equipment. 

CHRIS HEARDY:

Eventually, the black audiences hated us, the white audience hated us.  Eighteen episodes and we were derailed again.  “Derailed,” get it?

BRAD PINCER:

           Viewers, even though we had few, were drifting to the internet.  We were told to make online content.  We found some animators that worked cheap.  They called the shorts “The Express.”  They proved to be more popular than “Times Square Station.”  But, not as popular as the subway posters.  Some trains were so badly maintained that they still had the posters up from when we were on The Net.

ELI SCHRODER:

           Brad got some buzz from the internet shorts and was asked to host “Saturday Night Live.”  We couldn’t believe it.

BRAD PINCER:

           It never happened.  I showed up Monday that week and threw up all over the producers.  They found another host.

EDDIE PRINGLE:
          Brad was so stressed.  Guess who had to clean up the vomit?  One time, he was squeezing one of those stress balls.  I heard a scream come from his office.  I ran in, and there was sand all over the place.  He broke the stress ball.  Guess who had to clean up the sand?

Basic Cable Reruns: 2001-2002

Eventually, the syndicator was out of the sitcom business, choosing to focus on low-cost reality programming.  But, the little show that could still piqued some interest.  A cable network wanted to pick up the show and re-title it “The Express” to capitalize on the shorts.

CHRIS HEARDY: 

We tried to negotiate but the syndicator had already destroyed the sets.  It would have cost too much to rebuild.

BRAD PINCER:

I came up with an idea to produce a new pilot.  We found a hamburger restaurant on Sunset Boulevard that was inside an old train. We shot with one camera.  We got more laughs from a lunch crowd, than with a studio audience.

CHRIS HEARDY: 

One of those up-and-coming family cable networks, PBJ, bought the reruns.  They made a big deal about airing a "lost episode."  They took out ads, even had producers promote it on radio shows.

They scheduled the cable debut for September 11, 2001.

ELI SCHRODER:

We were screwed again.  Either the audience wanted to watch news or escape from the tragedies with a few laughs.  “Times Square Station” provided neither.

VINCE COLLA, Bigger Star, “Alligator Park II”:

Thank God that show never showed up anywhere again.  It’s not even on YouTube.

At one point, the USA Network was running a morning full of short-lived 90s sitcoms: “Caroline in the City,” “The Naked Truth,” “Suddenly Susan…”  They were offered “Times Square Station” and the negotiator came back with the response “over my dead body.”

BRAD PINCER:

           As time passed, basic cable shifted away from short-lived shows.  They needed advertising revenue so they started bulking up on hit shows.  Greedy bastards.

EDDIE PRINGLE, Executive Assistant/Executive's Nephew:
          PBJ couldn't afford to pay for the theme song, which was a hit single by Bertram Jameson.  So, Brad demanded to sing the new theme song.

CHRIS HEARDY:
          We presented the new title sequence with Brad's theme to the network.  Brad was in the room with the executives as the tape rolled.  It sounded like a bat being shoved into a toaster.

STEVE HAWTHORNE, Director, Acquisitions, PBJ Network (1998-2005):
          It was like a baby goat being drowned in an overflowed toilet.

ELI SCHRODER:
         I had PTSD flashbacks from World War II. 

CHIP SASSER:
         It was like a truck backing over an amputated gorilla.

CHRIS HEARDY:
        One of the execs said, "Brad, is there nothing you can't do?"

ELI SCHRODER:

           We eventually negotiated a deal to put dvds of the shows in a national chain.  Everything was going on dvd in those days.  If you were shopping in an Uncle Buck$ store, you could buy the complete series with a bag of cheese puffs at the register.

VINCE COLLA:

Someone actually paid money for reruns?

 New Train Schedule: 2006

CHRIS HEARDY, Executive Producer:

The “Friends” craze was long gone by 2006 and the series itself ended in 2004.  One night, I mistakenly flipped past CBS and thought I was watching another clone.  There were four friends in a bar, talking about relationships, and one guy is putting the make on all the girls.   Turns out it was nothing like “Friends.”  It was the story of how a man met his children's mother or something.  I picked up my Blackberry and contacted my agent.  The next day, I was at all the major networks with my new comedy pitch.

LAUREL KENYON, SVP Comedy Development:

It was another commuter comedy but totally different.  It took place in New Jersey.  Well, they traveled to New York, but they got on the train in Hoboken, New Jersey.

CHRIS HEARDY:

“Path to Love” lasted two seasons, then got picked up by a satellite company that was trying to trick viewers into thinking they had new shows.  Commuters picked up the "PATH" train in New Jersey and found love on their ride into Manhattan.  We tried to get Brad to guest star, but we couldn’t find him. 

IRVING FLOYD, Director, "The Young Zombies Go to Hawaii" (1989):
           Why didn't they call me? 

LAUREL KENYON:

Now that I think of it, some of the shows did start in New York when they took the train home.  I wish I had realized that when we picked up the show.

CHRIS HEARDY:

Right after New Year's, we were close to getting a pick-up at UPN.  We would follow “Everybody Hates Chris” and they were going to promote the hour as "An Hour You'll Hate."  But then, they announced the UPN/WB merger and we got dropped.

LAUREL KENYON:

The cast was terrible.  The whole show was supposed to lead to a wedding between the Jersey boy and the girl who sat next to him in the pilot.  He didn't notice her but 100 episodes later, he finds true love.  In season 2, the train is crowded and he's a jerk who won't give up to his seat to her.  In season 3, she spills soup on him.  But, the actress quit after episode 16.

WENDY STAPLES, Manager, Casting:

She fucked us over.  We already had shot the scene for the finale years in advance.

NORM BATTLES, Director, Research, Multiverse Studios:

This was during the tv-to-dvd boom.  People would catch up on new shows before the next season.  The first season of “Path to Love” came out in the summer of 2007.  The dvds didn't sell.  

Talk Show Reunion: 2016

At a syndication convention in January 2016, Multiverse Studios attempted to sell a daytime talk show starring comedian Brad Pincer.  Despite a few minor arrests, Pincer generated interest on the cable program, “Are They Still Alive?”

LARRY SCHRODER, Agent:

When my dad, Eli, turned 90, he turned over his agency to me.  I thought Brad’s career had gotten a second wind.  Although he had had massive facial surgery due to years of cocaine usage, people wanted to see what this washed-up comedian was all about.  Audiences love a victim.  Even more, audiences love a comeback.

BRAD PINCER:

I really didn’t want to host a talk show.  So many shows had failed.

LARRY SCHRODER:

           Brad was excited and ready to work again.

BRAD PINCER:

           We did two pilots.  Someone thought it was a good idea to reunite the original cast of “Times Square.”

GWENDOLYN THOMAS, Star, “Betsy” (1995-1996):

I had been living happily in Colorado for years as a wife and a mom.  Show business hadn’t been part of my life for years.  I was much healthier for it.

LARRY SCHRODER:

           Gwendolyn held out for more money, and eventually a pilot commitment with the studio.

JACKIE SMOOTH, Actor, “Elliott” (1998-1999):

           I had to cancel a signing at Best Buy, but it was worth it!  That crazy fucker Buddy B showed up.  And he wasn’t even booked!

BUDDY B, Actor:

           I had been doing theater.  Heck, I haven’t owned a television in forever.  I did one talk show reunion and now, I’m never going to talk about that lame-ass show again.

Although, of course, the talk show attracted very little audience.  Three minutes of the show were enough to go viral.  And, that alone, made Hollywood take note of the “little show that shouldn’t” as studios looked at their libraries to revive old shows.

BUDDY B:

           Pincer opened his damn mouth about my arrests back in 2002.  It wasn’t in the pre-interview.  He ambushed me, the bastard.  So, I lit his chair on fire.  How dare he call me a criminal?

BRAD PINCER:

           That was great television.

Upfronts Week: May 2018

TUCKER LANYARD, Consulting Producer:

        It's an amazing time to be in television.  Our reboot is ready to be picked up. We have a commitment with a streaming service contingent on a big-name guest-star for an all-new season.  Roseanne has agreed to play a bag lady just like Lucy once did in the 80s for a tv-movie.  We could get nominated for this.  Her reboot was the biggest thing on television this past season.  Big times are ahead!

THEODORE B, Actor, “Buddy Junior”:

           When my dad wasn’t available, they called me to play Buddy’s teen son.

IRVING FLOYD, Director, "50 Rock:" (2014-2018):
            I was just coming off another knock-off show about an accounting firm in Rockefeller Center run by one of the other Baldwin brothers.  They signed me up for "Times Store Station" or whatever the hell it is.  I'm 85-years-old.  This is like a second wind.

BRAD PINCER:

           I’m never going to have to host a talk show again! 

LANCE PRINGLE, Independent Producer:

That was a show?

PROGRAM HISTORY

Fall 1995: Wed 8:30-9

Winter 1995: Sat 10:30 -11

Spring 1996: Fri 9:30-10

Spring 1996: Sun 7:30-8

Spring 1997: Thu 9-9:30

1998-1999:   Syndication

2001-2002:   PBJ Network (Reruns)

2016 Reunion

2018 Reboot

© 2018 Ken Hommel

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